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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Comedian
Starts
Becomes
Audience
Talking
Fatal

More quotes by Fred Allen

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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen