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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Fatal
Comedian
Starts
Becomes
Audience
Talking
More quotes by Fred Allen
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred Allen
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen