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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Promises
Kept
Promise
Show
Business
Shows

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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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