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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Show
Business
Shows
Promises
Kept
Promise

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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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