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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Show
Business
Shows
Promises
Kept
Promise

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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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