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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Promises
Kept
Promise
Show
Business
Shows

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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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