Quote

If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Cutting
Worry
Greener
Yard
Yards
Uplifting
Fellow
Grass
Fellows

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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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