Quote

If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Worry
Greener
Yard
Yards
Uplifting
Fellow
Grass
Fellows
Cutting

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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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