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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Yards
Uplifting
Fellow
Grass
Fellows
Cutting
Worry
Greener
Yard

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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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