Quote

If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Worry
Greener
Yard
Yards
Uplifting
Fellow
Grass
Fellows
Cutting

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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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