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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Thousand
Sailing
Funny
Queen
Found
Mary
Today
Queens
Boat
Liners
Luxury
Lifeboats
Ten
Sierra
Bigger
Vessel
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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