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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Bigger
Vessel
Thousand
Sailing
Funny
Queen
Found
Mary
Today
Queens
Boat
Liners
Luxury
Lifeboats
Ten
Sierra
More quotes by Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
Fred Allen
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen