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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Bigger
Vessel
Thousand
Sailing
Queen
Funny
Mary
Found
Queens
Today
Boat
Liners
Luxury
Lifeboats
Ten
Sierra
More quotes by Fred Allen
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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