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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Start
Talking
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Men
Psychiatrists
Psychiatrist
Humor

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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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