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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Psychiatrists
Psychiatrist
Humor
Start
Talking
Next
Men

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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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