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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Men
Psychiatrists
Psychiatrist
Humor
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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