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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Life
Positive
Motivational
Shredded
Gone
Mattress
Half
Mattresses
Success
Woke
Inspirational
Wheat
Dream
Dreamed
Find
Eating
More quotes by Fred Allen
Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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