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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Life
Positive
Motivational
Shredded
Gone
Mattress
Half
Mattresses
Success
Woke
Inspirational
Wheat
Dream
Dreamed
Find
Eating

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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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