Quote

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Inspirational
Wheat
Dream
Dreamed
Find
Eating
Life
Positive
Motivational
Shredded
Gone
Mattress
Half
Mattresses
Success
Woke

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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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