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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Gone
Mattress
Half
Mattresses
Success
Woke
Inspirational
Wheat
Dream
Dreamed
Find
Eating
Life
Positive
Motivational
Shredded
More quotes by Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Fred Allen
He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
Fred Allen
In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
Fred Allen
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen