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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Boston
Doctor
Doctors
Sick
Going
Men

More quotes by Fred Allen

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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Fred Allen