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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Doctors
Sick
Going
Men
Boston
Doctor

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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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