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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Gnats
Navel
Equipment
Triumph
Television
People

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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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