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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Wells
Well
Done
Medium
Mediums
Rare
Radio
Called
Anything

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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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