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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Around
Stories
Human
Humans
Nothing
Skin
Skins
Story

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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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