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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Stories
Human
Humans
Nothing
Skin
Skins
Story
Around

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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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