Quote

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

Fred Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Humor
Anything
Conversation

More quotes by Fred Allen

Image
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Fred Allen
Image
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
Image
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen
Image
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
Fred Allen
Image
With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
Image
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
Image
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
Fred Allen
Image
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred Allen
Image
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Fred Allen
Image
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
Image
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
Image
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen
Image
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Fred Allen
Image
A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen
Image
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
Image
When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Fred Allen
Image
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
Image
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen
Image
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
Image
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Fred Allen