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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Sarcastic
Skin
Skins
Waste
Small

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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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