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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Skin
Skins
Waste
Small
Sarcastic

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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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