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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Sarcastic
Skin
Skins
Waste
Small
More quotes by Fred Allen
With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
Fred Allen
Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Fred Allen
The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
Fred Allen
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Fred Allen
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
Fred Allen
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Fred Allen
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
Fred Allen
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Fred Allen
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen