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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Sarcastic
Skin
Skins
Waste
Small

More quotes by Fred Allen

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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen