Quote

Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.

Fred Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Successful
Stations
Success
Sooner
Funny
Dealing
Kids
Drive
Ends
Police
Like
Later
Teaching
Wife
Station

More quotes by Fred Allen

Image
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
Image
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
Image
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
Image
In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
Fred Allen
Image
Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
Image
I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
Image
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred Allen
Image
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Fred Allen
Image
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Fred Allen
Image
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
Image
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen
Image
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen
Image
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen
Image
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Fred Allen
Image
The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
Fred Allen
Image
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
Image
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
Image
He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
Fred Allen
Image
The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
Fred Allen
Image
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen