Quote

It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Laughing
Joy
Goes
Happiness
Spreads
Funny
Suppress
Inspirational
Hips
Back
Spread
Laughter

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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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