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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Holes
Misadventure
Shoulders
Terminate
Six
Estimation
Whose
Objectivity
Strange
Biological
Make
Hole
Men
Objective
Life
Objectives

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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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