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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Firsts
Visitor
First
Visitors
Thing
Taxi
Paris
Humorous
France
Strikes
Cities
More quotes by Fred Allen
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Fred Allen
My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
Fred Allen
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Fred Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen
Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Fred Allen
Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
Fred Allen
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
Fred Allen
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen