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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Firsts
Visitor
First
Visitors
Thing
Taxi
Paris
Humorous
France
Strikes
Cities

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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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