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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Humorous
France
Strikes
Cities
Firsts
Visitor
First
Visitors
Thing
Taxi
Paris
More quotes by Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen
He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
Fred Allen
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
Fred Allen
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
Fred Allen
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen
A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen
There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Fred Allen
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Fred Allen
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Fred Allen