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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Humorous
France
Strikes
Cities
Firsts
Visitor
First
Visitors
Thing
Taxi
Paris

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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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