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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Humorous
France
Strikes
Cities
Firsts
Visitor
First
Visitors
Thing
Taxi
Paris

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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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