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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Anything
Havens
People
Haven
Watches
Watch
Humor
Permits
Television
Device
Comedy
Permit
Funny
Devices

More quotes by Fred Allen

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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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