Quote

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Television
Device
Comedy
Permit
Funny
Devices
Anything
Havens
People
Haven
Watches
Watch
Humor
Permits

More quotes by Fred Allen

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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
Fred Allen
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
Fred Allen
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
Fred Allen
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Fred Allen
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
Fred Allen
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen