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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Movie
Stars
Sunglasses
Asks
Autographs
Church
Recognize
Funny
Wear
Might
Pride
Even
Afraid
Humor

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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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