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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Movie
Stars
Sunglasses
Asks
Autographs
Church
Recognize
Funny
Wear
Might
Pride
Even
Afraid
Humor

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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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