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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Stars
Sunglasses
Asks
Autographs
Church
Recognize
Funny
Wear
Might
Pride
Even
Afraid
Humor
Movie

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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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