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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Stars
Sunglasses
Asks
Autographs
Church
Recognize
Funny
Wear
Might
Pride
Even
Afraid
Humor
Movie

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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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