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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Asks
Autographs
Church
Recognize
Funny
Wear
Might
Pride
Even
Afraid
Humor
Movie
Stars
Sunglasses
More quotes by Fred Allen
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Fred Allen
There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
Fred Allen
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen
When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Fred Allen
The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
Fred Allen
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen
On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Fred Allen
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Fred Allen
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen