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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Asks
Autographs
Church
Recognize
Funny
Wear
Might
Pride
Even
Afraid
Humor
Movie
Stars
Sunglasses

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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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