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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Undertaker
Alabama
Uncle
Uncles
Southern
Planter
Planters

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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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