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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Undertaker
Alabama
Uncle
Uncles
Southern
Planter
Planters

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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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