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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Writing
Belief
Years
Year
Funny
Understand
Write
Favourite
Persons
Easily
Person
Dollars
Take
Novel

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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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