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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Understand
Write
Favourite
Persons
Easily
Person
Dollars
Take
Novel
Writing
Belief
Years
Year
Funny

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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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