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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Persons
Easily
Person
Dollars
Take
Novel
Writing
Belief
Years
Year
Funny
Understand
Write
Favourite

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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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