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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Take
Novel
Writing
Belief
Years
Year
Funny
Understand
Write
Favourite
Persons
Easily
Person
Dollars

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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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