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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Write
Favourite
Persons
Easily
Person
Dollars
Take
Novel
Writing
Belief
Years
Year
Funny
Understand

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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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