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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Enjoy
Samuel
Bigs
Johnson
Today
Enjoying
Men
Humor
Days
Small
Talk
Funny

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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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