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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Enjoy
Samuel
Bigs
Johnson
Today
Enjoying
Men
Humor
Days
Small
Talk
Funny

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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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