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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Comedy
Guy
Associate
Funny
Associates
Art
Producer
Producers
Entertainment
Hollywood
Humor
More quotes by Fred Allen
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
Fred Allen
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
Fred Allen
With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Fred Allen
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred Allen
A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
Fred Allen
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Fred Allen
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Fred Allen
