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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Thousand
Telescope
Stars
Telescopes
Times
Agent
Funny
Humour
Better
Agents
Even
Presses
Good
Press
Star
Magnify

More quotes by Fred Allen

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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Fred Allen
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
Fred Allen
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
Fred Allen