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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Thousand
Telescope
Stars
Telescopes
Times
Agent
Funny
Humour
Better
Agents
Even
Presses
Good
Press
Star
Magnify

More quotes by Fred Allen

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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Fred Allen
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Fred Allen
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Fred Allen
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
Fred Allen
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
Fred Allen
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Fred Allen
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen