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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Stars
Telescopes
Times
Agent
Funny
Humour
Better
Agents
Even
Presses
Good
Press
Magnify
Star
Thousand
Telescope

More quotes by Fred Allen

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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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