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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Humor
Cities
Actors
Funny
Place
Great
Washington
Good
Competition
Actor

More quotes by Fred Allen

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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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