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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Place
Great
Washington
Good
Competition
Actor
Humor
Cities
Actors
Funny

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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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